Feel Better Moon

I challenged the moon
smiling on empty
and I saw his smile wouldn’t be
if it wasn’t for that black bulge
weighing him down
and I felt a little better.

Oh Jesus, Sweet Jesus

I cannot undress my heart in light.
Darkness, shelter darkness, find
a cave to hide this heart of mine.

I cannot speak in honesty nor write.
Rain, shelter rain, find
a storm to drown this voice of mine.

I cannot cure my spirit’s endless plight.
Death, shelter death, find
a space to match this void of mine.

I cannot survive in life tonight.
Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus, find
a way to save me one more time.

I can praise God under the sun,
under the hell this earth’s become,
and I can hope beyond the grave,
that I will live where restoration reigns,
and while I’m weak, I still will boast,
of the Lord I serve from my post.
With the strength provided from His well,
that overflows my earthly shell,
I will live, and breathe, and think and love,
Forever for my King above!

Excerpts from Thomas Kempis "Imitatio Christi"

"Whoever desires to understand and take delight in the words of Christ must strive to conform his whole life to him."

"And this is supreme wisdom—to despise the world, and draw daily nearer the kingdom of heaven."

"It is vanity to love things that so swiftly pass away, and not to hasten onwards to that place where everlasting joy abides."

"Keep constantly in mind the saying, “The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.” Strive to withdraw your heart from the love of visible things, and direct your affections to things invisible. For those who follow only their natural inclinations defile their conscience, and lose the grace of God."

"Do not read to satisfy curiosity or to pass the time, but study such things as move your heart to devotion."

"How good a conscience would he keep if a man never sought after passing pleasures nor became preoccupied with worldly affairs!"

"The desires of the senses call you to roam abroad, but when their hour is spent, what do you bring back but a burdened conscience and a distracted heart? A cheerful going out often brings a sad homecoming, and a merry evening brings a sorry morning. For every bodily pleasure brings joy at first, but at length it bites and destroys."

"It is often better and safer not to have many comforts in this life, especially those of the body. Yet, if we seldom or never feel God’s comfort, the fault is our own; for we neither seek contrition of heart, nor entirely forego all vain and outward consolations."

"Consider yourself unworthy of God’s comfort, but rather deserving of much suffering. When a man is perfectly contrite, this present world becomes grievous and bitter to him. A good man always finds cause for grief and tears; for whether he considers himself or his neighbors, he knows that no man lives without trouble in this life. And the more strictly he examines himself, the more cause he finds for sorrow. Our sins and vices are grounds for rightful sorrow and contrition of heart; for they have so strong a hold on us that we are seldom able to contemplate heavenly things."

"For to eat and drink, to wake and sleep, to rest and labor, and to be subject to all the necessities of nature is a great trouble and affliction to the devout man, who would rather be released and set free from all sin." (This is especially intriguing to me, if you ever bring it up in conversation with me, I would be game)

"The inner life of man is greatly hindered in this life by the needs of the body. Thus, the prophet devoutly prays that he may be set free from them, saying, “Lord, deliver me from my necessities!”"

"You will never overcome your vices, unless you discipline yourself severely."

"Learn now to die to the world, that you may begin to live with Christ."

what I learned in school

If you combine Stalin's rule by terror methods with the UN's ideas of human rights, things would get done!

Let the line above sink in a little bit. For example, Human Rights began to win in the Holocaust only when Nazi's were overcome by the slaughter put on them by the Allies. Slavery in the south ended when the North declared war and oppressors started dying in war. In order for some oppressed people to gain rights, someone has to make the oppressors the victims. In my opinion, Humanitarian Intervention fails because it is not a just system. The oppressed can hardly be uplifted without punishing the oppressor.

This is not an argument for violence necessarily. It's an argument to show the world is not "just."

"Social Justice"

My spirit longs for you God,
How I long for you.

The mouths of men shout “injustice,”
while their possessions build walls
between the suffering and themselves.

Oh help me God!
Don’t let me be like them!

Their plans fill their minds
like coal-filled stockings.
They are consumed by self,
And ignore your love.

How long will you tolerate them, Lord?
When will your hand come down
and declare justice?

How many voices will cry your name?
How long will life here go on?
Thanks be to God,
it's but a mist!


Is it just for me to sit in class, while Bobby continues in addiction and homelessness, and kids like Bobby are hitting the street right now? IS IT JUST?

When did the value of a human life become relative? Why does it take thousands, tens of thousands, or more people to “ping” our consciences? Isn’t this knowledge enough: A child starved to death? One child is dead. If you were hungry and you knew that there were people who had extra food, and they ALSO had giant planes that flew around the world, AND they did just that on a regular basis, what would you expect they were doing with those planes? Probably not vacationing.

Furthermore, how many people do you think you would need starving around you, before you thought your life was worth saving?

That is the truest thing I’ve ever heard in this class: that Human rights are a creation of the west AKA the United States of America. They only apply to humans... sorry "aliens."

On Church and State

The coming together of Church and State was one of the greatest victories the devil ever accomplished (as if such a thing could even happen, the devil accomplishing that is). For it's easy to submit to all governing authority, whether it tax heavily or persecute the believer. Hoping in Christ can easily make those things like nothing. However, what happens when it is not only the state demanding of you, but the very church oppressing you? What happens when the "church" reeks of the most grotesque forms of evil? Is one to go on submitting to the devil's church? Father God, make your true and holy church known in this world of deception.

Psalm 31: for meditation (verses 1-7)

"for the sake of your name
lead and guide me."

Not for my own good, or so I suffer less, or so I am happy, or successful, or prosperous, but for the SAKE of your name. Not so I can be proud, or perform miracles, or teach men, but for the sake of YOUR name. Not so I can write books, or attain anything that will burn away in your holy fire, but for the sake of your NAME.

"Free me from the trap that is set for me"

There IS a trap set for me! I am not safe when I walk. I am not like a man who walks in the comfort of his home. I walk like a stranger. Traps and snares are set before me, and my eyes are blind to them. Free me Lord! The traps set before me are perilous. Free me, for I cannot free myself. Do not let me think that there is no trap set before me. Help me tread free from the trap set before me.

"redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth"

Redeem me, for I am in need of redemption! I am nothing without you, and only you can redeem me. Only the truth of your holiness, and my depravity, allows me to be redeemed by you. You are the perfect example I strive to be. God can redeem me, and God alone. God, only you can redeem me, for only you will know every sin of my heart. Only you will know the lowliness of this man; the depths to which I have stooped. Only you know the cost of redeeming your unworthy servant.

"I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul"

Oh Lord, how great is the anguish of my soul! I can rejoice because you have seen me, for I am at my worst, and you still chose me. My soul will anguish always, for it longs to be sanctified. How I long to reflect the holiness of my Creator. How I am afflicted by my flesh! My soul longs for a new body, that can praise you without sinning against you. Oh the anguish of being trapped still. But O Lord, The Bliss of rejoicing in your love. The great joy of knowing peace and at home my soul will be soon. Oh the shouts of rejoice at the news: I no longer stand condemned for my life, though it be deserving of nothing but death.

Dear God! Give me patience or COME QUICK

My spirit doesn’t rest anymore.
It hasn’t known of peace or sleep.
It hasn’t learned to rest in flesh.
My spirit burns to stand the test.

And in the haze I cry, My God,
I pray my flesh to be no more
I pray for everything to die
So my life might be rectified
And in the sorrow, I cry, HOLY—
Won’t you consume me fully?
Lord, I’ve got no peace in all my days,
So in my darkness, guide my way.

Oh Jesus Christ, sweet Jesus—
I haven’t known consistency,
I haven’t any truth in me,
but how you move and live and breathe.

So be my every waking moment,
and do not leave me when I sleep.
In all the earth I’ll proclaim GLORY,
Glory to the only King.

Take me away, far, far away,
I don’t desire anything,
but that you wipe me clean,
that you don’t leave anything in me
that might keep me from my King.

Runaway

I plunged off my mind and into the night sky.
The stars were sand beneath my feet, disguising
my footprints from the world. I bit into the pear moon.
There was no core.

FIRE

Fire

For too long my heart was a naked ember, out in the open,
clinging to a heat that was waning.

Perhaps just too hot to touch, searing to the flesh,
but with a poking stick: easy and safe to move,
perfectly suitable for a small box.

One ember: what is it but a reminder
of what once burned, and is now dying away?

I feel the Holy flames now, lapping against the walls of my chest.
The world is blurring in the heat, heavy with razor sharp orange,
as my planks of blindness are consumed by God's Holiness.
My fire climbs out, it surrounds me entirely, and it runs
through the harvest field of dormant embers—
lighting the world on fire for Christ!