How Far Will Our Souls Bend?

It’s a beautiful day outside, and I find that life becomes immediately boring when you no longer control anything. Of course, control is rather illusory, as it only exists for as long as it would like, and vanishes the moment it seems most desirable. Control can be purchased with money, but when you have money, control isn’t necessary, and when money is scarce, one desires control. In a sense control is money. So really money is illusory, as it only has values because of the almost unanimous agreement that it has value. As soon as enough people change their minds, money will no longer be in control. So control is really an agreement on something that, quite frankly, hasn’t been fairly discussed.

Come to think of it, the very existence of money as a means of control is absurd. It’s a creation that gets all of its value because it represents something else, and it represents something else because you and I agree that it does. This seemed preposterous, so a generation of Americans went into $60k of debt, hoping to attain something more useful than money. The irony, of course, is that in order to make money, we all had to pay for something that we could not afford without the very object we were paying for. That is to say, in order to make money, it helps to have a college degree. With a college degree, it becomes possible to pay for college. And I might go to college and fail to get a job! I have to shell out the $$ just to have a chance. So really, going to college is like gambling. People call it an investment because they would rather live lies than reality.

College is like gambling, only it’s worse. In gambling, you can only lose what you have. In college you gamble 40, 50, or 100 thousand dollars on a degree. Seems more like a trade than a gamble? Well, not if your college proceeds to open your eyes to the evil of money. My college did something like this. They gave me lots of candy. And when the candy had taken complete control over my life, they told me that candy was a drug, and that I ought to fight against it. Of course, one must wonder why they waited until the drugs had taken all control, and why they went about giving me this information in such a sadistic way.

Information learned in college: people die every day because other people, like Americans (you and me), are selfish. Solution: give up the “American dream and make change!” Make change. You weren’t kidding. Turns out important things aren’t worth more than pocket change. I know because those good things make a living on pocket change. People only pay you to do things like feed gluttons and watch the poor die hungry... How sad.

Now pay up, Bucko! I want my 60k’s. I don’t care if you have to kill babies, just give my money. Yes, of course I’m against abortion, but I’m more against you not paying up! What’s that? You want to save young children… Does it pay? Oh no, we have an activist on our hands. It seems like that college actually gave him some good ideas. Make sure not to pay him much for that little non-profit work. That will keep him from making any important changes.

You got some great skills kid. I hear you want to make a positive change in the world. If you help me destroy the world for a few years, then we will let you go free to save the world in any way you desire. But you are going to have to have a car to work this job, and nice business suits. And you will enjoy our golfing trips on Sundays. Don’t worry about the poor now, brother. We’ll take care of you nice and good. You’ll forget about those dirty people on the side of the road. By the way, they chose their path in life. Apparently they weren’t into golfing, business suits, money, killing babies, or eating candy. Everyone knows it’s much easier to access all the candy you want when you where a business suit and make the Big bucks. What’s that? People are dying, yes, you’re right. It’s a harsh world out there. God sure did bless America. I wonder what the hell the rest of this world did to deserve such misery. We better fill up on what God gave us pal. It would be utterly sinful to deny such blessings, and waste our time wishing some hobo could indulge for more than some change.

“Other-Worldly Love”

There is love sobbing salty monologues
on Tsunami’s scathed beaches, and Katrina’s
soul leeches, and Nature’s rebellious future.

There is love in graffiti sticking to city side streets,
causing every city walker to acknowledge sweet,
sweet vandalism.

There is love in the throbbing of bell towers
on every hour hammering every ear to remind
souls that Forever is passing and forthcoming.

There is love in the blind man’s eyes—
Where people rot, in the sun-dried belly
where music is a prolonged funeral march.

There is love where grass has forgotten
that rain wasn’t always bloody bullets.
There is love in bullets.

There is love
loving death to deaths end.
Come and see
where love is real
and doesn’t know any end.

“The Narrow Way”

Luminous outcove
I strove to escape your coals
but death made it hard.

Rainbows in ashes,
I’m compelled by the blood seal
on your sky hilltop.

It’s a tight rope life,
it’s a sprint or it’s a fall,
an eternal fall.

I taste honey stars
and the world fades to a grey
luminous outcove.

Humorous Poem

Alright... In person I will vehemently defend my position that groceries don't really exist. On my blog, I will simply post this poem...


“Mr. York Explains Divorce to a Cat While in a Grocery Store’s Shampoo Section”

You see Cat, it’s just like the groceries.
Nobody really knows what divorce is.
Nobody really knows what a grocery is.
Is shampoo a grocery?
Honestly, is any single thing a grocery,
Or are there only…
groceries?

There might be sense to make of divorce,
similar to the sense of death. You know Cat?
Imagine letting all the sparrows live—
The world just wouldn’t be real...
and groceries wouldn’t be groceries.

I’m going back to my coconut Suave,
you know Cat? There’s nothing more real
than 3 months of clean hair for 89 cents.
Then we’ll go over to the cheap kitty litter.
that’s why it works with us, you know Cat?

We know the truth, how groceries
are fake! I never really agreed with the idea
myself. It’s always been the world, forcing
it on me. But we know… Cat.
There are no groceries.
Just Coconut Suave and kitty litter.

POEMS!

I have a lot of poems to post... I hope you guys enjoy them a bit. I'll start with a series of three poems about Judas Iscariot...

“Prayer of Betrayal”

Prince of this world, learn mercy fast.
Rid me of this screeching spirit.
Restrict the reins of my seething tongue.
Let me escape

before I hang
from your ancient rope of lies,
your slick, legless mass
coiled around my throat.

Oh deliver me,
dead God!

Not my will master,
But your will
Be done.


“Farewell: Iscariot’s Descent”

In death who knows to rest?
Who has lied about its peace?
Of morose and lonesome tragedies,
death seems furthest from the least.

From the moment of one’s death,
who can in any way abstain?
Who’s to say forever, there
a man will not remain?
To death won’t every theory
of death seem rather futile?
Won’t life’s wisdom die in death,
Where life’s thoughts are juvenile?
In death who is to speculate
that torture won’t endure,
and depths from the darkest night
won’t reign forevermore?

For Death has never heard of rest,
Nor has Death considered peace,
but in Death one thing is certain,
In Death— the life of man will cease.


“Iscariot’s Last Recollection”

I stood outside the train wreck
And met my twin:
Twisted steel eating death.

The unquenchable sewers drank
dirty blood. Bystanders gloated:
their eyes, all awe-struck
and death hungry.

Sulfur pours down
from the hemorrhaging moon.
The stars leak acid.
The sun is gone.

I stand alone outside the wreck
and meet my twin:
Satan.

Feel Better Moon

I challenged the moon
smiling on empty
and I saw his smile wouldn’t be
if it wasn’t for that black bulge
weighing him down
and I felt a little better.

Oh Jesus, Sweet Jesus

I cannot undress my heart in light.
Darkness, shelter darkness, find
a cave to hide this heart of mine.

I cannot speak in honesty nor write.
Rain, shelter rain, find
a storm to drown this voice of mine.

I cannot cure my spirit’s endless plight.
Death, shelter death, find
a space to match this void of mine.

I cannot survive in life tonight.
Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus, find
a way to save me one more time.

I can praise God under the sun,
under the hell this earth’s become,
and I can hope beyond the grave,
that I will live where restoration reigns,
and while I’m weak, I still will boast,
of the Lord I serve from my post.
With the strength provided from His well,
that overflows my earthly shell,
I will live, and breathe, and think and love,
Forever for my King above!

Excerpts from Thomas Kempis "Imitatio Christi"

"Whoever desires to understand and take delight in the words of Christ must strive to conform his whole life to him."

"And this is supreme wisdom—to despise the world, and draw daily nearer the kingdom of heaven."

"It is vanity to love things that so swiftly pass away, and not to hasten onwards to that place where everlasting joy abides."

"Keep constantly in mind the saying, “The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.” Strive to withdraw your heart from the love of visible things, and direct your affections to things invisible. For those who follow only their natural inclinations defile their conscience, and lose the grace of God."

"Do not read to satisfy curiosity or to pass the time, but study such things as move your heart to devotion."

"How good a conscience would he keep if a man never sought after passing pleasures nor became preoccupied with worldly affairs!"

"The desires of the senses call you to roam abroad, but when their hour is spent, what do you bring back but a burdened conscience and a distracted heart? A cheerful going out often brings a sad homecoming, and a merry evening brings a sorry morning. For every bodily pleasure brings joy at first, but at length it bites and destroys."

"It is often better and safer not to have many comforts in this life, especially those of the body. Yet, if we seldom or never feel God’s comfort, the fault is our own; for we neither seek contrition of heart, nor entirely forego all vain and outward consolations."

"Consider yourself unworthy of God’s comfort, but rather deserving of much suffering. When a man is perfectly contrite, this present world becomes grievous and bitter to him. A good man always finds cause for grief and tears; for whether he considers himself or his neighbors, he knows that no man lives without trouble in this life. And the more strictly he examines himself, the more cause he finds for sorrow. Our sins and vices are grounds for rightful sorrow and contrition of heart; for they have so strong a hold on us that we are seldom able to contemplate heavenly things."

"For to eat and drink, to wake and sleep, to rest and labor, and to be subject to all the necessities of nature is a great trouble and affliction to the devout man, who would rather be released and set free from all sin." (This is especially intriguing to me, if you ever bring it up in conversation with me, I would be game)

"The inner life of man is greatly hindered in this life by the needs of the body. Thus, the prophet devoutly prays that he may be set free from them, saying, “Lord, deliver me from my necessities!”"

"You will never overcome your vices, unless you discipline yourself severely."

"Learn now to die to the world, that you may begin to live with Christ."

what I learned in school

If you combine Stalin's rule by terror methods with the UN's ideas of human rights, things would get done!

Let the line above sink in a little bit. For example, Human Rights began to win in the Holocaust only when Nazi's were overcome by the slaughter put on them by the Allies. Slavery in the south ended when the North declared war and oppressors started dying in war. In order for some oppressed people to gain rights, someone has to make the oppressors the victims. In my opinion, Humanitarian Intervention fails because it is not a just system. The oppressed can hardly be uplifted without punishing the oppressor.

This is not an argument for violence necessarily. It's an argument to show the world is not "just."

"Social Justice"

My spirit longs for you God,
How I long for you.

The mouths of men shout “injustice,”
while their possessions build walls
between the suffering and themselves.

Oh help me God!
Don’t let me be like them!

Their plans fill their minds
like coal-filled stockings.
They are consumed by self,
And ignore your love.

How long will you tolerate them, Lord?
When will your hand come down
and declare justice?

How many voices will cry your name?
How long will life here go on?
Thanks be to God,
it's but a mist!


Is it just for me to sit in class, while Bobby continues in addiction and homelessness, and kids like Bobby are hitting the street right now? IS IT JUST?

When did the value of a human life become relative? Why does it take thousands, tens of thousands, or more people to “ping” our consciences? Isn’t this knowledge enough: A child starved to death? One child is dead. If you were hungry and you knew that there were people who had extra food, and they ALSO had giant planes that flew around the world, AND they did just that on a regular basis, what would you expect they were doing with those planes? Probably not vacationing.

Furthermore, how many people do you think you would need starving around you, before you thought your life was worth saving?

That is the truest thing I’ve ever heard in this class: that Human rights are a creation of the west AKA the United States of America. They only apply to humans... sorry "aliens."