Ramblings of another world...

Implosive bubbling of spiritual fervor persists in my bowels. Oh how standing in place writhes my soul! Why I torture myself regularly in my inactivity, makes no worldly sense. Of course, I have known for many years that the sense of the world is simply rubbish agreed upon by men, men with enough pride to be heard. No surprise does it come to me that I defy the world in my very nature! Of course, I suspect that many do, but are only afraid to admit to themselves that they too are not of this world.

“Not of this world— HA! That is the most preposterous claim ever to be uttered by an almost educated man.” I know your thoughts, for you have been claimed by this world already. Begin to die and you will find yourself open to any explanation out of this world. For the desires of your body will consume you. Chase them all day long! But when you near the long sleep, you will start to wonder, “Have I been duped?” For how can a life spent on desire upon desire upon desire, yield no fulfillment? You will ask yourself, “Shouldn’t I feel satisfied by the rich life that I lived?” You will begin to blame the desires you failed to meet. You will remember all of the times you chose decency over your greatest urges. Torn between pleasing the world and pleasing yourself?

No! Another lie has seeped into your heart. Every act to please the world you’ve done in hope of reaping reward. In hope of recognition you always acted. You have been deceived by your eyes, which you have spent your life casting on guilty pleasures. You have been deceived by your body, which has controlled you as much as you were willing to allow. But wait!—what kind of sense are you considering here? Allowing your body to control you? Have you just begun to believe that you have, at times, found yourself in disagreement with your very body? Alas! You can also acknowledge something without sense! Certainly no science could have brought you to this, but your own experience has made it undeniably true!

Have you too desired what you would not allow yourself to have? Even with complete peace that no harm to your future will result, even with full assurance that no other man might know, a force compels you to act against the body that grips you. We cannot explain this discrepancy between body and self with any worldly sense. It cannot be the cause of bacteria, or pathogens warring inside of us. This discrepancy is of an entirely new category of warfare. It has transcended science completely, and in doing so, has transcended the sense of this world!

How many excuses of self-denial exist? Can we forever deny what exists inside of our very selves because science cannot accept what it cannot explain? We cannot, not forever. A long sleep awaits us, and when it is near, we will begin to recognize that a part of us was not made to die. We will begin to recognize that a part of us was not made for this world. Not this broken world.